how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize