Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
