Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
