I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
