I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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