i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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