he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
