Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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