grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
