May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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