Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
