Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I understand Curling. That high.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I smell like Dick and happiness
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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