Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Why did my mother make you get naked?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
