Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
