why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
