Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
