Soap is not a condiment
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
