You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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