I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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