Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
