doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
