so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
