It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We need to rekindle our bromance
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
