I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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