whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
