Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
