I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
i've created a new STD.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
