was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
