I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
