to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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