Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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