id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
