Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Still dying that you shit outside
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
