I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Still dying that you shit outside
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
