She said her name was "party"
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
