Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
