Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
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