I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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