the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
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