the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
