He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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