We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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