You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It's official drugs can't kill me
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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