Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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