why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize