he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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