You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
