Whod you bang
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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