Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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