I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
did i walk over a car last night?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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