im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
