yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
