Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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