just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize