It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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