So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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