Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
