It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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