U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
3pm strippers are depressing
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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