I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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