So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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