I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize