he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
