Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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