i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
