By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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