my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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