ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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