so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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