While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
