He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
