God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
