he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize