Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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