Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
