Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
