I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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