You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
