Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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