i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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