is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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