I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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