im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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