Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Can you bring me the toilet please
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize