I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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