Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
