you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize