was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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