my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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