dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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